Confidence Over Fear: Making Informed Choices in Birth
Recently, a mom shared her birth story with me — and it’s stayed with me.
She had planned for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) throughout her pregnancy. She was excited. Hopeful. Confident… at first.
But after each prenatal appointment, she left feeling a little more afraid.
Her OB talked extensively about the potential risks of VBAC — uterine rupture, emergency surgery, complications — but never mentioned the risks of a repeat cesarean. No balanced conversation. No full picture.
Eventually, she stopped asking questions. She scheduled another cesarean. And later, with tears in her eyes, she told me:
“I wish I had known more. I wish I hadn’t let fear make the decision for me.”
This story isn't about whether cesareans are bad (they're not — they save lives in the right situations). It’s about how we make our choices and the emotional weight those choices carry when they're driven by fear rather than confidence.
Fear-based decisions vs. confidence-led decisions
Fear is a natural part of pregnancy and birth. It protects us, raises important questions, and keeps us alert. But when fear becomes the loudest voice in the room — louder than evidence, instinct, and informed consent — it can steer us away from the birth we truly want.
I often hear phrases like:
“It’s my first baby, so we’re planning a hospital birth just in case something goes wrong.”
“I don’t really understand why, but my doctor recommended it, so we’re going with that.”
“They said I couldn’t go past 40 weeks, so I scheduled an induction.”
These are all valid decisions. But when they come from a place of doubt or pressure, they often don’t feel good later — especially if things don’t go as expected.
What does confidence in birth look like?
Confidence doesn’t mean everything goes perfectly or naturally or "by the book." It means you:
🌿 Understand your options
🌿 Know the risks and benefits of each one
🌿 Feel peace about the path you’re choosing — even if it’s a hard one
Confidence is rooted in information and trust — in your care provider, your support team, and most importantly, yourself.
You deserve full, balanced, respectful information
Every medical intervention — whether it’s induction, cesarean, continuous monitoring, or even just a cervical check — has pros and cons. You deserve to hear both. You deserve space to ask questions, to say “I’m not ready to decide yet,” or “Can you explain that differently?”
This is what true informed consent looks like.
How to shift from fear to confidence in birth
Get curious. Ask your provider about the why behind their recommendations. Ask about alternatives.
Gather resources. Look into evidence-based information from reputable sources (like Evidence Based Birth - love them).
Build your team. Choose care providers and support people who respect your voice and values.
Practice self-trust. Take time to connect with your intuition and your body’s wisdom. It matters more than you think.
Your birth, your story
No one else is living your birth. You are.
You have every right to lead the decision-making process — with the support of a team who respects you.
If you’ve ever made a decision from fear and felt the sting of regret later, you’re not alone. Many of us have. But from that experience, you can grow deep, powerful clarity about what you want in the future.
And if you’re planning your next birth? Start by asking:
What would this decision look like if I made it from confidence, not fear?
You might be surprised at the answer.
Want more support making informed, confident choices for your birth?
Reach out — I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
